Monday, April 12, 2010

Dating Resumes

The single parent has a number of responsibilities that seemingly outnumber the responsibilities the married parent may have. One of the most notable of these duties is the very pressing responsibility of providing the only income for his or her entire household. As a degree-holding person who has made the decision to further my education and attend grad school in hopes of one day landing that perfect job (which will allow me to finally focus on a career and not the pursuit of said career), I have been working on updating, rewriting, and otherwise embellishing my resumes. This got me thinking: we all know that the first date is very much like a job interview. Both parties are nervous, usually dressed to impress, and inquisitive as to what the person/job would be like and if the person is right for the job. I’m sure we’ve all had that feeling at some point. If I continue with this analogy, the request for a second date would be the equivalent of being invited for a second interview. I think we can use our imaginations as to what would be the equivalent of getting the job.

I think, as part of this first-date-job-interview, one should be willing to supply, upon request, the equivalent of an employment resume: the dating resume. The dating resume would be similar to the employment resume, but dissimilar in content and purpose. Let me explain.

At the top would be contact information. Go ahead and tell us where you live. Don’t trust us? Then don’t apply. Following that would be your educational background. This is informative. Did you go to college? What was your major? Any specialized training, etc. We will skim over this part.

Following this would be listed your “work experience” AKA “dating experience.” How many significant relationships you’ve had in the past. How many marriages. How long did they last? What were your strengths? What were your weaknesses? Your major accomplishments during said relationships? Your reasons for leaving? Remember, one should never bad-mouth their previous “bosses” during interviews. Oh, and can you explain any gaps in your relationship history? What were you doing when not in a relationship? Traveling around Europe? Writing a book? Sitting in your dark apartment rocking back and forth and drooling in a catatonic depressive funk since your last break-up? We will assess these on a case-by-case basis.

Then we would have the “skills” listing. This is very important. Can you fix things? What kinds of things? Cars? Garbage disposals? Can you cook? Can you cook well? How are you with children? (Very important to the single parent.) And feel free to list any other skills (ahem) you may have that you think may be relevant to the position.

And, of course, we want to see some references. You will have to list at least three people with whom you have had some type of relationship in the past who will be able to positively support your character. And, yes, we will call them. We will probably even have lunch with them. And depending on the information supplied in your dating resume and the impressions we get from your references, we might get back with you regarding that second interview. But don’t call us. We’ll call you.

Posted by: Missi

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